Monday, October 29, 2007

Tales of what was supposed to be a relaxing weekend...

A weekend with kids at their daddy’s house, no work to do in the lab because my cells decided to be uncooperative, no appointments to keep….ahhh, sounds relaxing. I wish. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t know how to NOT be busy, or because I am a complete retard and make my own trouble – but I somehow manage to make myself insanely busy on these kid-free weekends (let’s call them KFWs, why not? it makes it more fun – shut up and deal with it).
I get up in the morning on Saturday and attempt to make petit fours. Don’t ask me why...I’ve never done it and wanted to see if I could do it. They didn’t turn out too bad. The coating was a little strange, but I have another recipe to try that I think will be better. Take home message: my kitchen was busy and messy for a total of 3 hours with very little result…why do I do these things to myself????
I have been in desperate need of groceries for about a week – well, more likely, I was in desperate need of the MOTIVATION to go shop for, carry in from the car, and put away said groceries. It was the desire to get them that was missing. I even went so far as to go through a drive-thru and get several meals worth of food so that I could avoid the store longer…sad, I know. The reality is that when the kids aren’t home, I am usually busy and/or tired and eating isn’t tops on my list of things to do – seems ridiculously silly to actually cook a meal just for me (gee, can you tell I’ve never really been alone?) – so I eat things like cereal, yogurt when I’m starving – but mostly I just never feel hungry enough to bother…problem is, my mother knows this. For some reason my eating habits have become a great concern of hers…and I don’t know why. Really, it wouldn’t kill me to drop a few #s. ;o) Saturday afternoon I call my mother and she’s making a fabulous dinner (as she all too often does) – so off I go to her house for some real food that doesn’t need re-hydrated and/or picked up from a drive-thru. I feel the need to explain a bit about my parent’s house – we lovingly call it the COMMUNE because at one point or another (and some at the same time) as adults my siblings and I have all moved back into that house with our families. It’s a zoo – ALL THE TIME. My brother, his fiancĂ©, and their daughter still live there actually. My sister comes over for dinner a couple times a week. It’s a place of constant activity and chaos – always has been, always will be – we just accept it as normal – after all, it has always been that way. After dinner we decide that we are going to go to a Halloween party at a local bar (to be known as “the club” from here on out) that has karaoke. I HATE karaoke, but I’m not a party pooper so I agree to go. My sister wants to dress up, of course – so when she comes over she brings a box, some construction paper, and 2 rolls of black electrical tape. She hands it to me and says, “I want to be a Rubix Cube – can you help me?” She knows me well enough to know that #1-I’m not going to “help” her, I’m just going to DO it myself, and #2 – that I’m OCD enough to make a fantastic Rubix Cube (plays to the strengths of my disorder, perfect squares, in order, lined up, etc…) LOL! After 2 hours of cutting, gluing, folding, taping, etc…my sister was a perfectly square, slightly mixed up Rubix Cube (if you know my sister you know she certainly couldn’t have been a COMPLETED one). We got to the party at The Club – it’s lame – we eat some bar food, have a few drinks and go home.
End Saturday.
Sunday morning I wake up at 6:30 and can’t go back to sleep. This is only a problem because I’m TIRED and didn’t get to bed until about 1am the night before. I have a day of outlet shopping with my friends planned for the day – I’m supposed to meet them at 10:30 at the outlet stores, about 40 minutes away. When I got home the previous night there was a message from my eldest daughter wanting to talk to me – so I call her during my drive. She is insanely upset that she only gets to go Trick-or-Treating with her dad this year (they are with him on Wednesday) – but he tells her that Trick-or-Treating in Grandma’s neighborhood is today and that Mommy can pick her up if she wants to go. WHAT THE HELL? First of all, I have plans for the day, and second of all he NEVER lets me have the girls when it’s his time with them. Damn it. Now what? I can’t tell her NO, Mommy’s busy – she is genuinely upset. So I tell her that I will pick her and her sisters up to take them T-or-Ting…because I’m a sucker – and a good Mommy I suppose. So then we rush through shopping, rush through lunch, and I speed home to pick up their costumes and then go pick them up. T-or-Ting is from 4-6 (it’s daylight – SOOO retarded IMO). We make it by 4:15 – get the costumes on and go beg for candy for a few blocks. (did I mention that I think T-or-Ting is horrid and I HATE it??) Anyway, we go back to my mom’s afterwards (the Commune – pure chaos, remember) – hang out for a little bit, then I take them back to Daddy’s house. On my way home I decide that I really NEED groceries and stop at the store. I walk in my door at almost 9 (after leaving at 9:30) – and was exhausted. In fact, so tired that I didn’t even put ALL of my groceries away last night (which is unheard of for someone as OCD as I am at times).
Funny part – I’m actually happy I’m at work this morning – maybe I can relax a bit!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Are you going to play or what?

This will come to no surprise to anyone who knows me, but in case you missed it somehow, I'll make it easy for you: I need attention. I am unhappy when I'm not getting the level of attention I think I deserve (WANT is probably the better word - but it makes me sound kind of spoiled - yeah, yeah, if the shoe fits, blah, blah, blah). I have NO trouble making it known that I am not satisfied. I don't need a LOT of attention necessarily - but I do need to see that an effort is being made. On the flip side, I am perfectly happy to do everything within my power and put a great deal of effort into making others happy, I'm just nice like that. ;0) None if this is a mystery and I don't even attempt to hide it - so one would think that anyone close (and I mean VERY close) to me would understand this fact, right? Apparently not.

I think there are a lot of things about relationships that can be compared to a game of catch. One person throws the ball, the other person catches it. In a perfect situation, the person who caught the ball, throws it back. Both people playing this game of catch can make it more interesting depending on how they throw/catch,'s incredibly dynamic and SHOULD be fun. That said - I'd just like to say that it sucks to play catch with someone that continues to drop the ball - and needs to be prompted with a hissy fit from the other participant to pick it up and throw it back. Dumbass.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I'd like to use my Get Out of Jail Free card please...

Marriage licenses are missing one very important piece - the get out of jail free card. Everyone should get at least one. Think of what people could save both in time and money! Instead of my divorce taking a year, then another frivilous cusody battle taking at least another year - oh, not to mention the >$30,000 in collective lawyer fees/court costs - I could have used a free pass and said "see ya later, bubba" and went on my merry way. Oh, there is the small complication on child custody - I'm still working on a solution to that one...not that it matters. What I DO know is that the court system (at least the one here) is ridiculously slow and completely ineffective. There are currently 2 motions pending with the court, one regarding the visitation schedule of the ex-jackass with the kids, and the other because he's whining that he doesn't get child support credit for the time he spends with his kids. Today was a pretrial (whatever the hell that is) for the child support adjustment. It was scheduled for 30 minutes-we were in the courtroom for less than 10. The conclusion was that the child support cannot be adjusted until the visitation amendment is ruled upon by the court, and that hasn't even been set for pretrial yet - so it will be at least 3-4 months before that goes to trial. Gee, what a surprise. These people are AMAZING. I'm so glad the future of my children rests in their hands.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Normal people are boring

My very first blog post…I really don’t know why anyone else would be interested, but some people have made me think that my life isn’t exactly “normal” – hell, *I* am not exactly “normal” (not even close by some people’s standards)…so, because I need more reason to waste time at work, and because Dr. Who calls blogging “free therapy” – I figured I should give it a try. Enjoy – or at least pretend to.

* I don’t need the truth – just tell me what I want to hear*